28: the one about winter

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Description:

 The last two years have been challenging for all of us, and getting through December can be hard when we live in a world that goes on 24/7. We often forget that human beings deserve care and rest, to be able to thrive and not just push through. What if there was a way to try differently instead of harder? Moira’s spent many years thinking about this and observing what goes on around her at this time of year and has tried many, many coping strategies including house and petting sitting. This year she found the words of Brigit Anna McNeill combined with the artwork of Jessica Boehman that captures a heartwarming way to experience winter–and Caring Week if you are so inclined. 
 
Welcome to the ADHD Friendly Lifestyle Podcast, for those of us with ADHD, who have had enough of trying harder and want to live a more comfortable, healthy, and happy life with less frustration and overwhelm. It’s time to get rid of guilt and shame–around having ADHD, our needs, and challenges through stories, knowledge, and humor to speak up about the experience of women, moms, and being late diagnosed with ADHD. 
 
We can build acceptance and growing our self-compassion over time, to help us take care of ourselves, ask for help when we need it, and be comfortable with who we are. Join me, Moira Maybin, as I share knowledge about ADHD to make your life easier, and what choices you have to make your tomorrow a more ADHD Friendly day.
 
Thank you for being part of the ADHD Friendly Lifestyle, hosted by Moira Maybin. Subscribe to the show on iTunes and leave a rating and review. Join the conversation today!
 
Have a question suggestion or want to reach out? Email Ask@adhdfriendlylifestyle.com

Resources:

Transcript:

Moira Maybin 00:08

It’s quiet and peaceful in my house. And I feel that way too. I haven’t felt that way a whole lot lately. And I’m enjoying it immensely. 2021 It’s been challenging all round. Have you thought about how to make your life more ADHD friendly this winter? It’s a struggle to get through December. There are things going on that cause excitement. There is less of the regular routine, there is more uncertainty in its place, and people are just plain tired. And when we live in a world that goes on 24/7, we can often forget that human beings deserve care and rest. We deserve to be able to thrive and not just push through our society and culture doesn’t promote that. What can we do for aching for rest for more time for life that works for us?

Moira Maybin 01:03

Welcome to the ADHD friendly lifestyle. I’m your host, Moira Maybin a woman, mom, educator, and I have late-diagnosed ADHD. This is the place to practice getting rid of guilt or shame and spending more time with our strengths and passions. There are things that I wish I had known about my ADHD sooner that are allowing me to make different decisions to make my life more ADHD friendly, and I want to share them with you. For show notes including next steps, resources, and articles on this topic, visit ADHDfriendlylifestyle.com. 

Moira Maybin 02:17

And now for something completely different. As I prepare to record this episode, I got a chance to spend some time on my couch, listening to some instrumental Christmas music. It’s quiet and peaceful in my house. And I feel that way too. I haven’t felt that way a whole lot lately. And I’m enjoying it immensely. Helping me was a recent realization that the instrumental version of almost any song can help calm and ground my mind and that many playlists already exist like that. I want to remember that for the future. So, I’m going to put a note in my calendar, alongside my weekly planning reminder that I can add in instrumental music because I sometimes do things, and I really like it, or it helps me and then I completely forget about it. Does that happen to you?

Moira Maybin 03:09

My enjoyment of that time was also assisted by a fire and a warm drink and knowing that I was safe inside while a storm raged outside. It’s kind of like 2021 it’s ending in a few weeks. And while many of us hoped it would be a kinder, gentler version of a year, then 2020, it’s been challenging all round. There’s so many things in life, that have yet to return to any semblance of normality, there are current issues to face and deal with, and new worries on the horizon. Dealing with all of that will take capacity, strength, and compassion. I have had many reminders lately of how important it is to value my relationships over tasks. Value, my well-being over getting things done, and taking care of myself is the only way forward.

Moira Maybin 04:01

With all that being true. I also get reflective in December. I gave up a long time ago on the whole idea of resolutions. It’s too easy to fail at those. I like the idea of being reflective and seizing upon what has already happened that went well. With our tendency towards all or nothing thinking, we often discount achievements, both big and small. Have you given yourself the gift of time and space to consider what you’ve achieved, survived, triumphed over, lost, and gained in the last 12 months? I re-learned how to walk. I got back up on a paddleboard and I started two new major undertakings, this podcast and coaching for ADHD reWired. That’s just skimming the surface. Well, 2021 is coming to an end, winter is just about to begin. And I wonder if you’ve thought about how to make your life more ADHD friendly this winter.

Moira Maybin 04:59

Any teacher and parent will tell you that it’s a struggle to get through December. There are things going on that cause excitement. There is less of the regular routine. There is more uncertainty in its’ place, and people are just plain tired. I enjoyed December the most when I worked at an all-year-round school because we were not in session in December so that none of that actually happened. And when we live in a world that goes on 24/7 We can often forget that human beings deserve care and rest. We deserve to be able to thrive and not just push through. Our society and culture doesn’t promote that. What can we do if we’re aching for rest for more time for a life that works for us?

Moira Maybin 05:43

Well, I’ve come to the conclusion that accepting the time and place we are in and what that means to our daily lives. So, with that in mind, I’d like to share something I came across a few weeks ago. It was written by Bridget Anna McNeil. There’s also a beautiful companion illustration you will be able to find on my website. It’s been around for a few years and wonderfully encapsulates my thoughts, hopes, and dreams for all of us at this time of year.

Moira Maybin 06:11

We are approaching the threshold of winter. Life is being drawn into the earth, painlessly descending down into the very heart of herself. And we as natural human animals are being called to do the same, the pull to descend into our bodies into sleep, darkness, and the depths of our own inner caves, continually tugging at our marrow. But many find the descent into their own body, a scary thing indeed, fearing the unmet emotions and past events, that they have stored in the dark caves inside themselves, not wanting to face what they have so carefully, and unkindly avoided. This winter solstice. This winter solstice time is no longer celebrated as it once was. With the understanding that this period of descent into our own darkness was so necessary in order to find our light.  That true freedom comes from accepting with forgiveness This is a time of rest and deep reflection. A time to wipe the slate clean as it were and clear out the old so you can walk into spring feeling ready to grow and skip without a dusty mountain on your back and chains around your ankles tied to the caves in your soul. A time for the medicine of story of fire, of nourishment, and love. A period of reconnecting, relearning, and reclaiming of what this time means, brings winter back to a time of kindness, love, rebirth, peace, and unburdening. Instead of a time of dread, fear, depression, and avoidance. This modern culture teaches avoidance at a max at this time, alcohol, lights, shopping, overworking, overspending, bad food, and consumerism. And yet, the natural tug to go inwards, as nearly all creatures are doing is strong, and people are left feeling as if there is something wrong with them. That winter is cruel and leaves them feeling abandoned, and afraid.

Moira Maybin 07:45

Whereas, in actual fact, winter is so kind. Yes, she points us in her quiet, soft way towards our inner self, towards the darkness and potential death of what we were. But this journey, if held with care is essential. She is like a strong teacher that asks you to awaken your inner loving elder or therapist, holding yourself with awareness of forgiveness, and allowing yourself to grieve to cry, rage, laugh and face what we need to face. In order to be freed from the jagged bonds, we wrapped around our hearts in order to reach a place of healing and light without going into overwhelm. Winter takes away the distractions, the noise, and presents us with the perfect time to rest and withdraw into a womb-like love bringing fire and light to our hearth.

I hope these words by Bridget Anna McNeil about the approaching wintertime help us all to accept what is during the season so that we can embrace what is on offer. And then in time, walk into spring, feeling ready to grow and skip.

Moira Maybin 10:11

I hope you’ve enjoyed today’s show and would love to hear your thoughts. To get in touch, you can write me an email at ask@ADHDfriendlylifestyle.com. Connect with me on my website, Instagram and Facebook at ADHD friendly lifestyle or Twitter at ADHDFL. Every episode has a website page with show notes, transcripts, next steps, resources and articles related to the topic. To get these visit ADHDfriendlylifestyle.com. If you’d like to support the podcast, the best way is to subscribe on the podcast player of your choice. And by taking the time to rate and review it there. there are four other podcasts for your listening pleasure. On Hacking your ADHD Will Curb gives Tips Tools and insights. Brendan Mahan hosts ADHD Essentials focusing on parenting and education. Thanks for listening. See you later.

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THANKS FOR LISTENING!

Moira Maybin, M.Ed. (EdPsy.)

Moira Maybin, M.Ed. (EdPsy.)

I help people with ADHD who are tired of trying harder and are ready to give up the struggle. This is the place for the late-diagnosed, women, moms, professionals, those who want to understand ADHD, be heard, and know they are not alone. An ADHD Friendly Lifestyle builds our ability to take care of ourselves and use our unique strengths and talents to create a life that works for us.

Moira Maybin, M.Ed. (EdPsy.)
Moira Maybin, M.Ed. (EdPsy.)

I help people with ADHD who are tired of trying harder and are ready to give up the struggle. This is the place for the late-diagnosed, women, moms, professionals, those who want to understand ADHD, be heard, and know they are not alone. An ADHD Friendly Lifestyle builds our ability to take care of ourselves and use our unique strengths and talents to create a life that works for us.

I help people with ADHD who are tired of trying harder and are ready to give up the struggle. This is the place for the late-diagnosed, women, moms, professionals, those who want to understand ADHD, be heard, and know they are not alone. An ADHD Friendly Lifestyle builds our ability to take care of ourselves and use our unique strengths and talents to create a life that works for us.

Moira maybin, M.Ed. (EdPsy.)